Giving Up is Not an Option

As parents, we have a responsibility to do what's right for our children. To never accept no as an answer if there is something that they need to be successful. We need to remove all roadblocks and create the best path for them.

A little over a month ago Doug and I attended a meeting at a daycare facility that we hoped to enroll Gavin in. Unfortunately, during that meeting we learned that the facility did not think they had enough staff to adequately support him. We left there frustrated, discouraged, and without a plan b. We knew we had to quickly come up with something else for him.

However, after a night of sleeping on it Doug and I realized that up until this point we have not allowed anyone to tell us no when it came to our kids and we weren't about to start now. We knew the best option for Gavin would be to attend this facility and we planned to do everything we could to make sure it happened.

After consultation with a few other people, we politely requested the application materials, as if a negative comment was never made about him attending the facility. We also expressed our excitement about him visiting the center soon for an intake evaluation. Perfectly phrased in writing knowing full and well that they would either realize that they could not actually turn him away based on a disability or to our advantage we would have something in writing saying they couldn't support him and we would have our evidence for an appeal.

After a week, since we sent the e-mail, we finally received the application materials and an invitation for them to evaluate Gavin. No other child at this facility would require an evaluation, but we played along nicely. We accomplished our first goal of getting the applications so we decided we wouldn't object to the evaluation. We could always use it later in our defense if he wasn't offered a spot; this isn't the protocol that they extend to every other applicant. I knew we were walking a fine line of being an advocate and not looking overbearing in the event he did receive a placement.

We finally scheduled his evaluation for a little over a week ago. Doug and I came prepared that day with our defense and sat close by taking copious notes on how he performed during the screening. We watched with excitement; he did better than we could have even imagined! He tried new toys, stayed with activities for more than 15 minutes,  and parallel played with other children. He transitioned smoothly from one teacher to another and only had one minor meltdown. The staff was complimenting us on his language, his willingness to play, and his overall temperament; I know that I had to be smiling from ear to ear. At the end of the hour the director came to us and said she couldn't see a reason why they wouldn't be able to welcome in to their care. He did it! He got in and on his own merits! We couldn't be more proud!

This process has made me realize more than ever why it is important that Doug and I advocate for both Kendall and Gavin. It would have been easy, after that first meeting, to walk away, devise another plan, and never try to enroll him at this facility. However, we knew better; we knew he could be successful. and we knew that telling us no was wrong and against all procedures they had in place. I was very scared the entire time of becoming an enemy of the facility while trying to advocate for him, but I personally feel we managed this challenge as diplomatically as possible.

I'm not foolish enough to believe that every fight will end this easily and peacefully. However, I'm still inspired more than ever to fight for what is right. A month ago I felt so discouraged by their response, but now he is enrolled and will be starting in July. Our belief in Gavin is what aided him in getting this opportunity. His development and growth is what earned him the spot.